September 2010

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Jake and Dinos Chapman are turning their collective hand from art to celluloid after announcing their intention to make a satirical comedy about the art world. Anyone familiar with the Chapmans’ output will know that it already contains a dark strain of humour but while Jake has previously made documentaries – at least one has been shown on British mainstream television – this is their directorial debut in the world of cinema fiction. No further details on plot or cast have been released so one can only speculate… a YBA version of Robert Altman’s ‘Prêt à Porter’ perhaps? Or maybe something with more mainstream appeal? The Chapman siblings are surely more Farrelly Brothers than the Coens, so I have drawn up a fantasy cast to depict the Brit art scene in the forthcoming attraction that I've entitled: ‘Dude, Where’s my Art?’

The Chapmans would be played by Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom of ‘The Producers’ as their White Cube show ‘If Hitler Had Been a Hippy How Happy we would Be’ – opening on Friday – continues their well-trodden theme of Nazism. Sandra Bernhardt will make an excellent Tracey Emin and Eliot Gould could pass himself off nicely as Charles Saatchi. Bette Davies in Baby Jane Hudson guise should be Grayson Perry; an Ipcress-era Michael Caine to play Jay Jopling (for the glasses) and modern day Caine to play Brian Sewell (for the hair). YBA ringmaster Damien Hirst could only ever be played by … Damien Hirst. Any suggestions for Sarah Lucas, Matthew Collings and Nicholas Serota are very welcome.

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